The College Panda Watchmen Review

I have to apologize to the UBP faithfuls for my promise of a review Friday night. Unfortunately I was so amped up after seeing this movie that I went out and got drunk and used lines from the movie as pickup lines, which went extremely well as you can imagine. I mean when girls look at you they have no idea what your talking about, that is good right? For example a girl came up to me and asked me to buy her a drink, to which I responded "Why would I protect a world that I no longer have any stake in?". To which she quickly told me she had to use the restroom, which I'm sure was true, but the fact that I didn't see her the rest of the night I'm starting to question the legitimacy of it.

The Watchmen!!! Sadly I was way off on my prediction of 75 million for weekend total. I'm guessing it was bad word of mouth that was generated from Friday night on. This is because I was telling my dad he needed to go see it over the weekend to be apart of the weekend numbers, and of course he thought I was an idiot, he called me this morning telling me about all the bad reviews the movie was getting. Let me make this perfectly clear, THE MOVIE WAS BRILLIANT!! For those who actually read the novel I don't think there should be any question, I mean the movie followed the book almost to a T. A couple of parts I wish they would have kept in there, but other than that it was perfectly aligned with the book. For those who didn't read the book, the imagery and fight sequences alone should have hooked you. The way that Zach Snider shoots his fight scenes, and his use of slow motion is absolutely a joy to watch.

The characters in this movie, The Comedian, played by Jeffery Dean Morgan, was so perfectly matched from book to big screen and he was so bad ass that any average audience member should have loved. Rorschach, even if you didn't read the book and have no idea what this character should look and be like was absolutely perfectly played. Not only was his narrating brilliant but his action scenes where he was in prison were so bad ass, and the fact that Micky from Seinfeld made a cameo was all the more perfect. Finally there's Dr. Manhattan, who I thought was the best character, I know Laef will disagree, but lets be honest College Panda knows best. Every time Dr. Manhattan was on screen it was awesome. His voice was everything I was hoping it would be, the way he delivered his lines, his demeanor, the way they shot him when he invaded in the war, it all was so perfect and gave me chills every time he was on screen. Oh and the fact that his dick was flopping around the whole time that was just a bonus. Wait, umm, no I mean I was appalled by that, why would I want to look at that through the whole movie?! Because I'm a mans man and I love vagina, please believe me!!!

I'm going to end this review with a little thought. The movie really was awesome, if you liked 300, this movie blew that movie out of the water, it really did... Oh and did I mention Malin Akerman has a really hot sex scene, and you get to see her tits as well. Everything you want is in this movie, oh and the ending in the movie actually makes sense, that's more than I can say for the novel, which I'm sure Laef will have something to say about this as well. I really truly cant wait for the extended version DVD to see what else they add. I really think they nailed it though, its perfectly shot, perfectly casted and brilliantly cut. Because I love you I am going to add my favorite sequence, which I am sure you have heard about, but the opening credits of this movie are soo soo good I thought you might appreciate it and maybe convince some of you to get to this movie. Here are the opening credits:


I Love You, Always and Never,


College Panda