Last House on the Left

There is no question at all as to who watches the most movies on this blog and who knows the most about movies on this blog. If Haymes and Panda come on here and argue the fact that I am the most knowledgeable and the most avid film watcher of the three of us then they are only trying to be difficult. With that said, I am going to start reviewing most of the movies I see, whether they are new releases in the theater or something that has been out for a while that I am just watching for the first time. If you are looking for honest and solid opinions on movies I am your man (or Ole Painless, whenever he decides to stop by the UBP and drop some knowledge, but I have to warn you he is very stealth and you may now know he was even here). 

Before I get into my review I would like to make a comment on the fact that Panda loves the new show Kings. For all I know (since I have yet to watch it), Kings may be the next Lost (highly unlikely), but it is not because Panda told me it was good.  College Panda must have seen the trailer for this show a couple weeks ago and without any knowledge of the plot or the characters decided he was going to get behind the show and support it blindly. This show could have been the biggest piece of shit ever but because he decided he wanted to support it, there was no changing his mind. Long story short, you will never get an honest/realistic opinion about a show or movie from Panda. But keep this in mind if you watch a show that Panda supports and it happens to be good, even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. 

On to Last House on the Left. Going into the theater I had very high hopes for this movie. In all honesty, I am sort of on a horror flick kick as of late (probably because as recently as a couple of months ago I was able to watch them for the first time without covering my eyes with a blanket). This horror movie in particular was intriguing to me because of the cool premise. What happens when the tormented decide to defend themselves and become the tormenters? Not to mention it was one of the better trailers I had seen in a very long time. 

The story revolves around a family who has a lake house in the middle of nowhere. The father of the family is a doctor, the wife is a college professor (I think) and the daughter is an overachieving swim champ. The family decides to take some much needed vacation time and go to the lake house. well it just so happens that while the family is in town, there is a group of sadistic, convicted murderers on the loose, in which the leader of the group just escaped cop custody by killing the officers with the help of the rest of his group (his girlfriend and his brother). 

The swim champion daughter decides she wants to go see an old friend in town and in the midst of a drug deal find themselves in the same hotel room as the crew of murderers. From here the daughter is kidnapped, shot and raped by the leader of the group and left for dead in the lake. When the killers wreck their car they are forced to find shelter at one of the lake houses. It just so happens that this lake house belongs to the swim champions family and this is when the movie gets good because eventually the parents find out who the group of strangers are that just came into their home looking for help. With this information in hand they decide to fight back and what ensues is some very bloody and suspenseful action. 

As exciting and satisfying as some of the scenes are, this movie really moves at a slow pace for the first 3/4 of the film. Also, the trailer is much better than the movie actually is and we never get to here the awesome rendition of sweet child of mine from the trailer. Pacing and over anticipation aside, this movie was rather entertaining. If you go see it before this coming weekend it is definitely worth it, but once Friday hits there are a string of movies coming out that you are not going to want to miss and Last House on the Left will have to wait until it hits the third shelf on the right at your local video store (yes, I actually thought this was a good line).

Laef